12.30.2009

I'm falling back into my old ways.

I wonder how many people know what that means.
I wonder how many people will ask me..

hmm.
I wouldn't bother if I were you.
Causeeeee
I'm not gonna tell you what it means.

Oh.
My phone service is gone again.
It's this long complicated process.
No one really texts me who I haven't told though..
So I guess it's okay.

Uhm.
I had a fabulous Christmas Eve.
Christmas morning I helped cook breakfast with a very drunk boyfriend of my mother's.
Which is weird that I did I am the one who HATES drunk people.
But that's okay.
He owes me.
Anywho.
I have another turtle.
His name is Donatello.
He is about the size of a silver dollar.
Franklin doesn't know what to do.
He is very confused.

I also got a laptop.
It is pretty.
I haven't named it yet..
But I will.
I uploaded most of my CDs to it.
I have recently discovered that Avril Lavigne music makes me angry.
A lot of her songs have happiness to them.
But that is what angers me.
She's wrong.
Don't ask me why only her songs anger me.
Cause a bunch of songs are like that.
But .. idk.
I still like her music. . it just makes me mad .

Just a few things to say to a couple of people.

To you: Stop pretending

like you are the only person

in the world who matters.

Cause you aren't.

All you do is look out for

yourself. Lately at least.

You don't have to be a bitch

just to get some respect. Kay?

To both of you: Try talking

to eachother. Trust me. You

both will be a lot better off

that way.

To you: Stop whining at me.

To you: Thank you.

There is something really random that I would like to share.

And I am not sure if I have shared it before or not..

But I am going to say it now either way.

I give help people with relationships all the time,

even though, 99% of the time, I am not in one.

Gah. I am tired of being sick.

I have been sick since the day after Christmas.

I am gonna work on homework..

//I hate you.

12.22.2009

Look; not purple font :]

So I would definitely have to say that I am a very happy little girl.
There is a particular person to blame for that to.
Anddddd you know who you are.
...
I wonder if you read my blogs.. hmm...

Has anyone seen the Princess and the Frog?
Did you like it? .. .
Or what about A Christmas Carol... ?
Did you like that one?

So tonight is fondue.
Dakota's girlfriend is coming over.
And so are my mommy and Steve-l's friends..
Cyndi and Leo.

Oh Oh Oh.
Secret: I like mistletoes. :]

Uhm...
Oh Oh Oh.
Fact: Condoms are expensive.
ahah.
Don't ask. kay? :]

Christmas music is playing...
and I think I am about to switch it to country.
I finished almost all of my shopping today.
Thank goodness.

Uhm. honestly..
I'm not really looking forward to Christmas.
Cause as soon as Christmas morning is over,
everyone goes back to their aggravating, unloving, arrogant selves.

I leave for my daddy's on Christmas morningish.
Well, I leave my house at 11.
My flight is at 1.
Then I come home on January 2.
My flight lands at 5:50PM.

Wow.
So I currently have 2887 anytime minutes
and 18, 171 roll over minutes..
feel free to call me anytime :]
We can talk for..
351 hours without me running out of minutes.
Which is like 14.625 days.
Seriously, call me.
I'll answer if I wanna talk. :]


Kay.
My hair is in a towel.
I'm gonna dry it and make myself look kinda cute.
Cause.. that is as good as it's gonna get today.
:]

//kissunderamistletoe.

12.10.2009

Circles.
Not [] <-- boxes.
Circles.
Constant circles.
I can't even keep my thoughts straight anymore.
I am doing absolutely terrible in school.
I never see my mommy anymore.
I hate that I don't drive yet.
It really isn't my fault either.
I just want to go to Washington already.
I'm sick of Las Vegas.
I am so sick of the people here.

I am so freakin sick of this feeling I have.
I can't even describe it.
It's overwhelming and exhausting and it confuses the hell out of me and I can't escape it and
I hate hate hate hate hate this feeling.

I miss my daddy.
I'm nothing but a whiney mess right now :/



//replacement?

12.03.2009

. . . . .













//screwed over.

11.29.2009

>:/


What the hell is taking stupid Arbor View so long to send me back a letter that says

"yes you can come back to this school"

or

"no we are not going to take you back because we hate you"

?!

Is it too much to ask to want to be at a school that I enjoy going to??

One that I care about?

UGHH.

I hate people.

This is why I have a list.

You better hope you aren't on the list. haah :]

It's something unpredictable

But in the end it's right

I hope you have the time of you lifee.

You know what is completely unpredictable

And in the end, it is never right?

And you will never have the time of your life with?

T h e s t o m a c h f l u .

Yeah.

It totally sucks.

Especially when you get it on Friday when you don't have school.

The least it could do for you is give it to you on a day you have school

So you can miss a day.

But NOOOO.

It waits until you have a 4 day weekend to make you miserable out of your mind.

True story.

Secret:

My new favorite song, as of November 25, is One Less Lonely Girl.

Just cause it is THAT cute :]

Current Countdowns

19 days until Winter Break

26 days until Christmas

52 days until my 17th birthday

567 days until graduation [ish]

117 days until Spring Break

418 days until my 18th birthday

32 days until New Years Eve

185 days until Summer Break :]

Yeah.. I suppose I'm a little bit of a freakk?? :]

haha.

Oh well.

It's perfectly acceptable I suppose.

Uhm..

Enjoy this picture of my awesome drawing.

I'm gonna goo.

//confusionirritation&happiness

11.11.2009

730 Days until November 11, 2011.
I hope that is a lucky day.

So currently, I am freezing my ass off at my mommy's work.
But I'm wearing long sleeves.. so that makes no sense??
I really want it to rain.. it looks like it should rain.
But we all know how often it rains in Vegas.

Will someone please explain to me why feelings aren't reciprocated?
Why does Person X feel Feeling A for a Person Y,
but Person Y feels Feeling B for Person X?
Why can't Person X and Person Y both feel Feeling A for eachother?
That would be so much better.
And it would cause so much less heartache and annoyances.
I really don't understand why the world has to be so complicated.

So will someone tell me why people keep jumping into my mind
and why they keep making me go into these incredibly aggravating
thought provoking episodes of thinking?
I do not appreciate them.
Not one little bit.

Fact: You are not the victim in this. Stop acting like it.
Truth: I really want you out of my head.
Secrets:
I really hate that everyone took that from me.
I miss you.
I always wonder what would have happened if that wasn't a secret.


//Why did you do that to me?

11.09.2009

I am going to see if I can switch back to Arbor View.
I really don't like Spring Valley at all.
I miss my friends at Arbor View.
A lot.
I miss my classes.
I miss having Film studies and Genetics.
I miss sitting with John, Sam, Steven, Julio, Caleb, Lance, and Brad at lunch.
I miss laughing with Cayla and Annie during History.
I miss arguing about boys and girls in American Lit.
I want to be on sports for Arbor View.
And I want to kick Spring Valley's ass in everything.
I actually like being an Aggie.
I like the weirdo schedule.

I'm totally gonna talk to my mommy about it.
I don't wanna deal with Spring Valley anymore.
I want to be happy with my school again.
I hope my mommy says it's okay.
Cross your fingers for me, will you?

//hopeful.

11.08.2009

Muffin tells me that my blogs are too sad.

I'm sorry if they are.

I really didn't think they were that sad.

But I guess he might be right.

//unfinished.

11.02.2009

Life is stupid.
Yepp.
Cause, that's mature.

Secret: I don't know why, but I feel very numb. Not my body. But my thoughts and emotions.
Weird.

I don't like Spring Valley.
I really wanna come back to Arbor View.
A lot.

But I guess I'll have to deal with Spring Valley cause I'm stuck there.
But I want my friends back.
And I want to go back to a school where the people don't annoy me.
That would be fantastic.

Secret: You're disgusting.
Truth.

I have to clean my room.
And clean Franklin's tank.
And shower.
Then maybe I'll go chill with some people.

Secret: I want a _________.

Oh. And a new phone.
Anyone wanna donate an at&t phone to me?
Samsung preferably.
But I'll take anything.

I'm not in a great mood.
And now I'm just kinda making myself in a worse mood.
So I'm gonna go.

//failure.

10.19.2009

Well firstly:
If I get a C in my history class, I am going to cry. No joke.
Tears. Streaming down my face. Sob probably.
Anyways.

Wanna know something that is probably not to healthy?
When I even remotely think about being in a relationship,
I feel like I'm about to get sick. Why???
Uhm. I'm not so sure. But my stomach gets all gross feeling
and I start to feel super d i z z y and the world kinda starts spinning a little bit.
Then I start s h a k i n g and feeling super nervous.... hmm.
Which, again, probably isn't all that healthy.
Well I guess it isn't a terrible thing.
At least we all know that I won't be getting hurt anytime soon.
Yay.
Then again.. it isn't JUST relationships.
It's being with any guy in anyway other than friends.
Anotherwords; hook ups aren't sitting so well with my body either.
But that isn't a bad thing because I hate hookups.
With a fiery burning passion.

Anywhooooo. On to my next thing to rant about.
Why do some girls where pants soo freakin tight that they can't even bend their knee in.
seriously. What is the point of even WEARING THE PANTS??!
Sweetheart; we all know you're skinny, but I am concerned for your breathing status sometimes.


Ermmm...

Friday is my last day at Arbor View.

D:

d e p r e s s i o n .

Meh. I guess I really don't have much to talk about right now.
I could tell you a secret.
But I don't think I'm gonna.
Well.. Idk. Maybe I will.
. . .

Kay I will.

secret: damn.. what was it.. .
well too bad. I forgot it.
OH OH OH. I remember.
secret: I really wanted to do it.

Ha.
You just don't know what it is :]]
Peacee<3.

//frustration.

10.15.2009

hmm;


to you:
I love you.
I miss you.
I'm sorry about that one thing a week or so ago.
I trust you with everything.

to you:
No matter how much you hurt me,
Every single day,
I still feel so much better when I hug you.

to you:
I love you.
Karma sucks.
Word.

to you:
I love you.
You need to start thinking about
people other than yourself.

to you:
I trust you with everything.
Thank you.
<3.

to you:
I need you to come back.
Right....now.
Please.

to you:
Thank you.
Behave.

to you:
I hate you.
Go blow up and die.

to you:
Go be best friends with the
person mentioned above.
And make sure you are part of the blowing up
and dying.
Thanks.

to you:
If only I knew.

to you:
Although you can make me smile
I know it's all just for one reason.
So lets save the drama
And forget about it.


countdowns:
6 school days left at AVHS.
11 days until I start at SVHS.
15 days until I go to Disneyland.
612 days until I graduate.
108 days until I turn 17.
71 days until Christmas.
12 days until my brother is home.

//everything she does it beautiful.

10.10.2009

Right now.
I am very frustrated with 98% of my friends.
To the point where I don't even know why I do so much to help everyone out.

No; this is not all just one person. It's a ton of people.
I talk on the phone for hours into the night
I rearrange all of my plans to accomodate you
I don't tell your secret
I make sure no one knows about what happened with you
I support your decisions
I don't call you out on being a dick
I help you when you are really stressed out
I don't tell anyone about that one thing
I don't ever yell at you
I don't show you that I get mad for what you do
I come to help you whenever you need me
I let you blame me for anything
I get you out of shit situations
I make sure you get your stuff done
I don't tell that one person what an ass you're being.
I smile everyday and act like I don't do anything for any of you
When really; I make my life harder just to make sure all of you are as happy as I can make you.

And, just to protect your happiness, I'm not going to ever let you know.
Ever.
Because that's the kind of person I am.
I center my life around making all of you happy
And I am going to keep it that way
Because I'd rather it be me that gets all of this shit to deal with than any of you.

I'm complaining because I need to complain.
And I know I bring this all on myself,
But sometimes I need something to vent to also.



//termpaperdue.

10.04.2009

I feel like I am being completely avoided todayy.
You didn't answer my text.
You didn't seem to friendly towards me today.
You.. idk.
My room .. is so empty. It's weird. I don't understand how people can have nothing on their bedrrom walls.
It's soo.. barren. And cold. I can't deal with it.

Anywhoo.
Decision Sidney made today:
I'm done. Over. Finished. Peace out.
It's not worth my time. I have turned the switch off.

I love how I can do that with my feelings most of the time.
Just flip them on and off.
It's an amazing talent that I believe people acquire through lots of practice.
Which. I do believe I've had.

Uhmm.

I have a lot of things I want to say to people....
But I'm not going to say it.
Cause what I really want to say to people would probably make me a lot of enemies.
Soo I think it might be best to keep all these thoughts on the inside.

I've had a crap week. And I am really glad that it's over.
And to tell you the truth.
I'm am thrilled that I am going to be moving.
It's like.. a new start.
Clean slate. Again.
New house. New school [again]. New people. New boys. New drama. New pillows :D.
I can't wait for my move to be final. To be settled.
I hate being so all over the place.
I've always been al over the place.
My entire life.
I just can't wait to be done moving.
And to be settled with my almost brother, my mommy's boyfriend, my mommy, and my brother<3.>

Anyways.
My wrist hurts. I killed it moving today. Lovely, right?
I'm leaving everyone with a secret.
Then I'm outt.


Secret: I don't ever believe someone when they promise me something. And I seem to trust someone less with everyone promise they make. Stop making them; I'm tired of everyone lying to me.

/plain walls.

9.29.2009

Damn.



The way life changes is .. incredibly unfair.

I have homework.
So.
I'm gonna do that.
And.


I'm thinking I'm gonna give up on my social life.
And just stick to being scholarly.
Wish me luck?

//failure.

9.28.2009

Oh my.

Life is weird.
And... spontaneous


I can't believe today happened..


Packed a lot todayy.
Gotta do homeworkk.

//shocked.

9.25.2009

I hate that I didn't say no to you.



fuckhead.

9.22.2009

I'm not quite sure why this keeps happening to me.
But I'd like to tell you.

I.am.sick.of.it.


... okay?
So grow some balls.
And tell me already.
Cause I'm done playing these stupid games.
We're in highschool.
These games are for middle schoolers.

Grow up.


/pissed.

9.19.2009

Should've said no.


Ha. Or not. I hear that I say no too much.
Meh. So what. I really don't care. ha.

Anyways. There is actually a point to this blog. . Or 2 points.

Point Number 1) I don't have internet sooo... I haven't been able to talk as much as normal.

Point Number 2) I was just sitting here thinking about someone. Then I was wondering who they were thinking about. Then I was thinking if anyone was thinking about me. Then I started racing through my head, all of these people who I know and wondering who they are all thinking about. Or what. I started wondering how they are and what they see. Sometimes when I walk down the street I wonder what is on someone elses mind. Like people that I see. Whether it be the fat guy in the convertable or the mom of 5 in the SUV. I get so curious about what is on someone elses mind. It's ridiculous a little bit.
I have a conclusion to all my stupid thinking.
Someone is always thinking about you. It could be anyone. Anywhere.
Someone somewhere has you on their mind. They are probably wondering what's on your mind.
Or at least I would be.
Sighh.
I really don't feel like explaining my thoughts anymore.
They sound to stupid when I write them down.

Uncle Kracker :D
"All I know is that when I'm with you, I make you free.
And Swim through your veins like a fish in the sea"


Accomplishment of the day: I scored 110,700 on Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook.
I have no life. ha. :]
But that's okay.
I'm partly proud of that no life of mine.

Life update:
For those of you who haven't read my about me on myspace recently,
I am moving to Summerlin. Well.. I guess it isn't TECHNICALLY Summerlin cause we aren't on the right side of the street..
But if you cross the street to the side where it says "Welcome to Summerlin" .. then you'll be in Summerlin.
For those of you who don't know where Summerlin is at..
Well. It's by the Red Rock Station Casino.
I am switching schools.
Again.
To Spring Valley.
Sighh.
Wish me luck.

I am gonna go be a no life on Myspace :]
Or maybe I'll read.. I love books.



p.s. i have a secrety secret.

//stupid.

9.12.2009

My life totally changed in the period of one phone call.

"come pick out your new room"
"wait... so we're officially moving?"
"yes we are. see if you can get dropped off here and pick out your new room"



I paint my new room on Monday.
I am switching to Spring Valley High starting the second quarter of school.
My new house is HUGEEEE.
I have a pool.
Uhmm.... what else..


OH YEAH.



GUESS WHAT!!

I'm on the Powder Puff football team for Arbor View :]]
The game is on October 7th.
You should come watch me play :]


idk.
I think I just wanted to update everyone.
Cause.. I'm not really in the blogging mood. :/

/crazy update.

9.02.2009

Stop being so damn cheerful.
Especially when I've seen you for 15 minutes in the last 3 days
and WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE.
Really, I think it is great that you are finally happy and totally in love with this guy who loves you back just as much.
But I really wish you would at least PRETEND that you like being home when I'm here.
Life pretty much is lonely.
Me and the zillions of pets we have.
I do the cleaning.
I feed the animals.
I do fantastic in school.
I stay in touch with my brother, unlike someone who supposedily lives in this house with me.
It's like I already live alone.
I'm 16 and alone in my house all damn day.
Not only all day, but all night too.
It's ridiculous.
And I'm tired of you sounding so effing cheerful towards me when I'm nothing but pissed off and hurt towards you.
You act like you don't hurt me everytime you leave me alone.
Sure. Most teenage kids would love to have the entire house to them selves all the time.
Okay. That's great for all you teenage kids.
But it's different when you go through it you're entire life.
And it's different when your parents CHOOSES to be gone all the time, and not just gone from work.
Cause then you sit and think damn; you really don't wanna be around me.
How would that make you feel?
To know that your parent can't even spend a few minutes with you home?
Ugh.
I'm so pissed off right now; I wanna cry. :/
a;sldkf

FML.



//wish me luck for powder puff

8.30.2009

8.24.2009

I almost wish you would of had me too.

I was totally just listening to that song Almost by Bowling for Soup.
I wonder if that was written about a specific girl...
And I wonder if she knows that that song is written about her.
Or. What about Delilah? Why didn't she ever go and be with him?
Why is it that some people love other people so much.. but the people they love just can't reciprocate?
I have news for everyone.
Life. Really. Sucks.

Then I started wondering...
I wonder what cool future-rockstar classmate is gonna write about my friends?
Or, dare I say, about me?
Isn't that trippy to think about?
Cause.. come on.
Somewhere out there, everytime some girl hears
Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York city? You're a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty
That girl thinks Delilah is my best friend.
What the hell. Who actually thinks that when they hear a song like that?
Goshh. I think.. It. I don't even know.
What happens when I'm 30 and I hear a song on the radio about one of my best friends?
That will probably be one of the most shocking-but-not moments in my life.


Anyways.
I'm on the phone with my wife.
I miss her.
Sighh.

I think I am gonna go be a loser on the computer. :]


//weird post that was interrupted.

8.20.2009

:] I am in a really good mood right now.


I am blaring my music.


I am bored out of my mind.


My mom twisted her ankle. It's huge.





oh.

Happy Birthday Spencyy :]

I'm texting a few people.

Tomorrow is Friday.

School starts on Monday.

FML.

This week has been pretty fantastic.

Zach's kickback was pretty fun.

Being with Alissa, Melinda, and Luke has been pretty damn grand too.

I need to hang out with them more.

Uhm.

yeah.

So this is a pretty pointless post.

I have nothing to really talk about.

Or rant about.

....

669 Days: University of Washington in Seattle

50 Days: Puerto Penasco [Rocky Point], Mexico

4 Days: School