6.26.2009

My head is throbbing..

So I was just curled up in the chair in my daddy's living room when I thought, I'm never gonna grow out of this chair, sure maybe if I gained weight I will. But I will always be able to curl up right here, underneath my warm blanket, and fit perfectly in this chair in my daddy's living room. Always.

Then, as I was watching the tv screen of a fast forwarding Cubs pre-game on demand, I remembered a conversation I had last summer. One that just stuck with me. I had forgotten about it until that moment. But it hurt me all over again when I was sitting there. Then I thought all over again about a bunch of things.

You know those things people say to you, or you hear about yourself that you will NEVER forget? No matter how insignificant it may have seemed to them when they were saying it, but it just meant THAT much to you, that you will NEVER forget it and it will ALWAYS be in the back of your mind? Stupid things, that actually happened in stupid meaningless conversations with people that you don't even talk to anymore or haven't even seen in years.

You're just too weird to be a girlfriend.

You know, that chunky girl you dated?

Maybe for other people it wasn't a comment someone made, but an entire conversation that just left you breathless with pain, or the conversation that just kind of broke you a little bit.

The Cubs won! -girl
Why do you think I would care? -boy

This is my favorite. When you talk to someone, and you say something to them that means something to you. And you'd like them to at least comment on what you had said to them. But instead, they don't even acknowledge anything you just told them. It breaks you a little bit because you wanted to share this with them. It was important enough to mention, and they completely ignore you and just go on with something else.

I decided while I was watching that Cubs pre-game fast forward, that instead of telling people about these times, I'm just gonna keep them locked away somewhere. So I can remember them forever. That way, when the comments people have made to me come rushing back, I can just look at other things. So I know that people care.

sounds cute. i'm sure it will be. i mean it's you, so it has to be :)

good morning sexyface sidd super cake.

you will be fine darling don't worry.

i'm not silly. don't be so modest. you're a queen, no wait, a fuckin goddess. im honored that a girl like you could miss a guy like me :)

By far, the best one I have ever heard was from someone I love so incredibly much.

Ceecil, in the last year, maybe longer, you have become my rock. You are my best friend.



Point of this post? I don't know. Maybe I finally wanted a blog that actually meant something. Not one that is just me rambling. Maybe I'm just bored and I needed something to do. Maybe I just miss home way too much. Well that's the truth.

One last side note. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me.

Goodnight.

6.14.2009

[deleted pictures]

i can't decide which picture to upload to myspace.....

i think i'm about to limit it too the top and bottom...
well now i'm getting on aim to ask someone for help.

haha.

hmmm... kenny is the only one online..

why did someone send me the number 6 while i was offline 3 days ago??

kenny says the first one. wait. that means the third one on here. i gave him them in a different order :]

soo i'll upload that one :] i think..

i was texting someonee...

i miss a few people..

________, _______, _____, and ______. oh. and _______.

sighh. that's a lot more people than i anticipated.

i have a twitter now..

you should follow me on it :] ...

which sounds like i'm asking you to stalk me. hahah

creeeppyyyyy.

woww.

i just updated my twitter saying "i miss my wife" and not two minutes later, she texted me :D

i miss her dearly.

monday i'm gonna spend the night at her house.

and tuesday she's coming to mine.

thenn she's gonna come to the airport with my mommy

and drop me off.

sighhh.

:[ i'm sadd.

make a wish! 2:22!

i wished :]

sighh.

this is a super boring post.

soo i'm gonna goo.

it's pointless.

byee.