8.06.2009

cameron and michelle.
i miss you.

A lot.
----------------------------------------


Moving on.


I hate this stupid feeling.
i. like. you.
But it won't ever happen.
So I am forgetting about it.
Or at least I'm trying.
But see, here's the thing with trying.
IT NEVER WORKS.
And I hate it.
The past few days, I have been really quiet.
I have just been mindlessly scribbling.
Now I am on the phone with my mom.

Ooo. Michelle just admitted to a secret.
I saw it coming.
Not surprised. Not mad at all.
She's cute.
:]


Damn my life. I miss my mommy.
And I have to leave on Saturday to go back home.
I am very excited to go back to Vegas.
But :/
fuck. It really sucks leaving.
Every year. I come and I leave.
Most of the time my friends move on to other friends and I have to start all over again.
And my crushes always move on to other girls.
It's terrible.
And I leave here, and I lose my entire family for another 9 months.
I know that I will come back.
But I hate it.
It breaks my heart everytime I leave. I hurt so bad everytime I leave Vegas too.
It's just not fair.
I have to give up everything twice a year while other people have everything right in front of them all year, and they don't even realize what they have.
I mean, for all I know, this could be the last time I see my daddy, or my step mom.
Or my nieces and nephew.
I don't know. I don't get to see them everyday, or every other week.
They aren't around for the spelling bee and the school talent show.
They don't get to come over for dinner or come see me before I go off to a school dance.
I hate it. I hate that they can't be there with me.
I hate that I have never had a Thanksgiving with my daddy that I can remember.
I hate that my family doesn't know me, or my friends. I hate that they don't know anything about my life except what they see when I am with them for 8 weeks.
Ughh.
Whatever. Life is stupid.


Soo... I will be back in Vegas in... rought 42 hourss.
Cool huh?


I am gonna stop blogging noww.


//stupid.